This post, particularly the first section, is awfully touchy-feely for my taste. If you are really flattened by the impact of the coronavirus, like panicking about your financial situation or trying to get care for a partner or close friend, listening to uplifting stories seems Pollyannaish. Readers may have better ideas for coping with emotional overwhelm.
But for those who have some time and energy, the starter lists of how to help look sound and perhaps members of the commentariat could add to them. And a mundane way to help if you don’t have much personal bandwidth is to check in on highly social family members and friends who are under lockdown. They would find the isolation particularly trying, which might lead them to go out and about more than is good for them and everyone else. So making them feel less alone may help them stay put.
By Sandra Kim, the Founder and Training Director of Re-Becoming Human and Founder and President of Everyday Feminism. Originally published on Re-Becoming Human
In just a couple of weeks, the lives of people have been dramatically changed by the threat of coronavirus and the impact of social distancing and self-quarantining.
And we’re just getting started.
It’s already hitting so many of us, especially those already marginalized in our society.
Many of those who have the financial cushion and safety net to ride out this period are worried and scared of how it will impact so many other people’s lives.
Most people I’ve talked to want to do something to help each other get through this period – which is beautiful and necessary for our collective survival. But there’s a lot that’s getting in the way of people moving into caring action.
Some of us are:
- Feeling too overwhelmed by fear, confusion, anger, or panic to know what to do
- Scared to look at what’s going on and not doing anything – which can leaves us feeling guilty and ashamed or defensive and angry at those taking action.
- Just throwing ourselves into doing something, anything – which may not be the best and can leave us feeling exhausted afterwards and still wondering if that was enough.
In moments of crisis, reactions like these are very understandable – and very human.
There’s no problem in you having those emotional reactions. Your feelings are neither right nor wrong, not good or bad.
They’re a natural reaction to an overwhelming situation.
The problems start if you don’t care for yourself while having those emotional reactions – and therefore aren’t able to ask for and give support as needed.
And if your reaction to that statement is “But I don’t know how to care for myself when I’m upset and overwhelmed!”, then that’s completely understandable too.
Most of us haven’t been taught or seen modeled how to ground ourselves when overwhelmed and how to care for our underlying pain and needs.
We’ve been unconsciously conditioned by patriarchy, white supremacy, and exploitative capitalism to repress our feelings and invalidate our needs.
That keeps us unconsciously operating in the system and perpetuating it and keeps us from feeling the deep damage its doing to our mind, body, and spirit.
Even if we know how to care for our feelings and needs and regularly do so, there’s always times when we reach our limit and can’t do the very things we know will help us.
That’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.
It just means that you’re human and that you need to be held and supported – like all human beings do.
So here’s some ways you can be held and supported – so you get grounded and resourced enough to show up for your community as your most powerfully supportive self.
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